Afternoon fellow bloggers!! Not sure where this story has come from and to be frank its a morbid affair. I was reminded of a short story I read when I was doing my A levels which was gripping but heartbreaking at the same time and I’m pretty sure there is a bit of Margaret Atwood inspiration going on here also. No specific theme for this; only the fact I’m practicing 100 word flash fiction at the minute (title excluded) hence the brevity of this. Any feedback is surely welcome (onslaught ensue).
The Surrogate
“Pleasure doing business with you sir,” he said handing over the cheque as the midwife handed over the delivery.
“Please don’t,” the woman sobbed, “please don’t take my baby.”
“Now, now, my dear,” the consultant murmured under bated breath, “$20,000 is most generous for somebody of your circumstance.”
The new mother cuddled the gift she had longed for since she was four, a mere three years ago. As her father looked down lovingly at his daughter, new toy in tow; the midwife wiped clean her blood stained hands, cocked the gun and pulled the trigger on the biological birth mum.
Holy 5 h 1 t. I didn’t see that coming.
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Too much?
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No! It had impact.
The rich pay for whatever they want regardless of the circumstances, and some other parasite will always be there to reap the benefits from the helpless.
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Pretty spot on! Glad it had impact!
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🙂
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Wow!! Had to read that twice, I was totally distracted by the ages thing and didn’t see it coming at all!
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Good the ages was to throw you off but still an important piece of the story 🙂
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Well, well, well, that’s kind of creepy as a mini thriller. It took me a couple of times to get the story and then all of a sudden realised the title was “The Surrogate”. Good job!
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Thank you 🙂
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It’s lovely. I don’t understand though, why did he murder the biological mum? However, it takes talent to write a story in that little a world limit so kudos to a job well done! 😉😉
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Thank you. If you scroll comments above Pensivity101 pretty much hits the nail on the head in terms of its meaning. To quote ‘The rich pay for whatever they want regardless of the circumstances, and some other parasite will always be there to reap the benefits from the helpless.’
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Wow!! This is so good! I had to read it twice to get the story and when I did, it was hard hitting! Really really good!
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Thank you!
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Holy…..scared me at the end
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Yeah its a bit of a morbid one isn’t it :S
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Wow, you have a knack for story telling!
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Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say 🙂
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